By - drunkbirdy
The classic Don't > Do Not
Can't > can not > unable to can
I cant do this.
I can not do this.
(I am unable to do this.)
I am unable to can do this???
This is my new favorite sub. Thank you kindly my good sir
There’s also r/DecreasinglyVerbose
Took me a second
Took a tick
Haha this whole sub makes me think of Markiplier’s verbose rants.
I am unable to be able to do this.
The possible feasibility of implementation approaches zero.
Since we’re being hyper technical, it’s actually “cannot” all as one word. As everyone is pointing out, “can not” has a different meaning than “cannot,” which is actually the full word from the contraction can’t.
That last one you hit your head.
If you can't can, can you can can't?
You can't, because if you can't can, then you can't can a can't in a can, now can you?
Godzilla had a zeisure reading this and fucking died.
Here we are now, entertain us! Cuz we’re stupid, and contagious!
Henceforth I am unfortunately unable to can
That's still only one word
Cannot is the weird one in that it's one word for some reason
Cannot is actually one word but if I'm whooshing here I'll show myself out
Was told to avoid contractions* in essays anyways. Forgot about that until right now.
Edit: I forgot the difference between conjuction and contraction
Do you mean contractions?
Thank you, yes I did
Save contractions for the labour ward.
That's probably the most stupid thing I've encountered so far when writing papers "ohhh don't use contractions, they make your text look informal" like those big head honcho walking suit guys on Wall Street never use contractions. Written language is so far behind spoken language in this aspect it's laughable
Shouldn't use contractions in an essay anyway!
My essay is perfect, no further editing needed and **it is** now a perfect 1000 and it rules!
If you’re righting a proper essay you’re not using contractions.
But what if you're lefting a proper essay?
Jesus I’m fucking dumb. Didn’t even notice till this comment. Surprised I’m not downvoted to hell.
I passed right over the error, i think my brain just took it right since I was reading you saying the 'right' way to ~~wright~~write an essay
Jesus I don't even know, I got lost in the words lmao
I read this is George Takei's voice
I c wot u did their
You can easily cram one more word in there. Just use an extra adjective somewhere !
Agreed. Whenever I'm editing content that's way over the word limit, I purge it of adjectives.
“My red car looks red today”
Car appears red today
if gap and no go, racer be not
If a gap appears, and you do not seize this newly-created opportunity, then I am afraid I must declare you are no longer the controller of a motorsport-use high speed vehicle.
this, this is why i have reddit
Thats some good r/decreasinglyverbose
My car looks today
Man I wish I could write stuff that's over in count. Im one of those short concise people so essays always got me
Add “amen” at the end?
What if they already did?
I was going to say add a word like conclusively, finally, or indeed. Clearly, this is the correct answer, though!
> You can ***very*** easily cram one more word in there.
Just put "end" in the end
I’m gonna start putting that at the end of all of my essays in the future.
Put a ◻️ to show end of proof
Add a word at the end and make the color white or something
Brilliant. Make it a joke like "hellooooooooo"
yep, that was a knee puncher
I laughed so hard at this
Bro i died
Dougie? Dougie Jones Mr. Jackpots is that you?
Make it a joke like “1000th.”
Just don't print on colored paper!
That’s too many O’s. It’s gonna have a little red squiggly under it and give itself away!
Was gonna say this
Ctrl+A reveals all
Why did my wife leave me?
You made me laugh more than the usual nose exhale. I congratulate you.
Could be converted and submitted as a pdf.
Pretty certain Ctrl+A in the PDF would still show the white/background-color word.
It's not like the converter would refuse to write the word.
If it has to go through some anti plagiarism software it will make all the text black.
But this is how my former coworker in IT stores their passwords, it white text in an email sent to themselves with the subject “not passwords”.
Yeah… they made it both hard for themselves and easy for attackers.
Do they also store all their porn in the Homework folder?
Yeah but it's 1000 words so it's still a win
Don't lie, we all did this at some point in our lives.
Put your middle name!
Don't have one :')
Make one up
Jonathan “1001 Words” Smith
This comment has not gotten the props it should. That shits funny!
Sorry to hear about your funny shits
Put your nickname, like Jonathan "jonny" Smith
Jonathan "drunkbirdy" Smith
Jonathan “Johnathan” Smith
Jonathan “Joestar” Smith
Jonathan "Jonathan Smith" Smith
Jonathan “BigDick” Smith
Jonathon “knighthawk” Smith would be my choice
op making this way more a problem then it is
You can pick your own! That's pretty cool
in my country we use our father's name or mothers maiden name(if its not already part of your last name)
There’s gotta be a contraction in there somewhere
If it's an academic essay it might not. I was always taught not to use em in formal settings.
Our teacher said that they’re a part of English and are perfectly fine to use… she said a lot of formal people are starting to come around
Maybe in high school but not college
I'm doing a master's degree and have never lost marks for a contraction.
Only Braxton Hicks ones
At the very end, write "Hehe."
Just like Michael Jackson!!
That would be Heehee.
I prefer shamowna
OP please fix this
Just write an extra word and turn its font white.
Is your paper about OCD?
It's actually about OTT lol
You down with OTT?
Ya you know me!
Who's down with OTT?
GingerGiantz1992, they just said.
Over-the-top media service?
Ontario Testicle Training.
Otto The Turtle?
Over the top compression?
Do i look like i know what jaypeg is?!
don’t into do not
Just add “cum” at the end like all redditors
Do we really do this? Cum
Edit: I guess we do, cum
He’s just making up stereotypes. Cum
Sorry *cum* I *cum* don't *cum* understand *cum* your *cum* accent
I love drinking cum
Edit: I don't think I'm doing this right ^^^^cum
Time to insert in a double word typo
Time to insert a a double word typo?
That's a good idea!
Add a "the the" unless the reader is paying 100% attention to your essay they they won't notice anything
Especially if you have one of the words before a
a line break, and the other one after.
Ha good one
> they they
Well, /u/RichiZ2 proved their point because my brain completely skipped over that.
Or replace a single word with a like a particle verb
You had the the chance and didn't take it.
Change I'm to I am
Really hope an essay already does not include any „I‘m“ to begin with
It is sometimes acceptable to use first and second person pronouns in an essay. A strict definition doesn't exist of anything, see the story of the "featherless biped".
Contractions are the issue here not pronouns
i believe they were saying they hope there’s no contractions in the essay to begin with.
I was taught to have neither. No first person unless it was a reflection or personal narrative. And definitely no contractions
If you find a "the" at the end of a line, add another at the beginning of the next line. The the majority of people would not notice the repeated word. I did it in this comment and you probably didn't notice
Line or sentence? Because it's in the exact center of the text for me
Line. Your phone is the wrong size for my mind games
Your mind is the wrong size for my phone :p
The same for me, but i still didn't notice lol
It’s in the middle of the text for me and I still didn’t notice it lol.
That's fuckin crazy dude. I literally just did this in my own comment and thought it would be too obvious, but i totally missed your second "the". It works so well its crazy.
Can confirm, I got tricked.
Word minimum requirements are counter productive; if you can convey an idea in 600 words but are directed to use 1000, it’s a waste of your time and the readers time.
God, have you ever had to wade through like a medical journal paper and it's just several paragraphs restating the same goddamn data and conclusions? Infuriating.
Not in a medical field, but I edit papers before they're submitted to journals. I see a lot of that too. Especially if the author doesn't really understand what's supposed to be in each section of the paper, so they just repeat everything in every section. My personal pet peeve is when the author spends 1000 to 2000 more words than they needed just because they repeated all the information in their tables and figures in the text.
This post has nothing to do about word requirements. Op is just mad that its not a perfect 1000. However I agree with your comment.
I struggled with this in college. I didn't know how to hem and haw and fluff, I wrote what the facts and ideas were and came in under word count every time.
I used to go and find more sources to add superfluous elaboration. I’m so glad I’m done with college.
And word maximum requirements are almost as bad, except they do serve a function. So painful trying to find things to cut out or reword in my college apps.
If an idea can be comprehensively discussed in 600 words then it isn't a suitable topic for an academic essay.
I'm struggling to understand how a 1000 word essay is acceptable for anything at university level. Not once in my undergrad was any essay below 2500 words as a minimum requirement.
I find word or page minimums to be useful. If I'm expected to write 200 words of analysis, then I'll pick a topic and approach it very differently than if I'm expected to write 2000 words of analysis. Besides that, at least at an undergraduate level, you aren't just trying to "convey an idea." You're almost always involved in argument. A longer word count doesn't mean you should just write fluff, it means you should refine your argument. You should find assumptions that you left undefended and defend them. You should consider more potential objections and respond to them. You should expound on the implications of your position and how is related to similar questions. You should expand your scope and see if you can make your argument apply to more cases.
Basically, word counts signal to students how good the argument is supposed to be. The longer the paper, the more comprehensive the argument should be. In my experience, if you submit a 2000 word paper that could have "conveyed the idea" in 600, you're not going to get a very good grade.
Add an adjective
It's a perfect 999. Good enough.
Add Screw Flanders.
It's perfect 999
Just change the text colour to white and write “cunt”
One thing you learn after many years of writing is that no piece of writing is perfect my friend.
Put the word “Cheese” in white print at the end.
The number of people using contractions in formal writing is strange to me.
Put “**BEHOLD**” in all caps and massive bold font, followed by your actual essay
Expand a contraction
A properly written essay shouldn’t have any contractions. It’s fine for internet comments but a huge no no for any formal written document.
True, but for most lower level english/writing classes it's fine, which i'm assuming OP is in. I used them in essays for both writing classes i was required to take for my gen-eds, professor never said anything.
Add your middle name
A lot of people with dumb scams to get a secret extra word, but if you're really capable of writing a "perfect" essay then you probably have the skills to slightly reword one sentence to add an extra word without losing anything at all from the overall piece.
Write your name at the top
Go back in and sneak in 4 “meows” into the paper, and at the very end simple end it with one final “meow”.
Its perfect if the word limit is below 1000
Add one word using white font!
Drop down a fancy-ass
in the center column of the document.
just add a word or remove an abbreviation
one extra word at the end, but color it white.