T O P
Pig_Empire

The classic Don't > Do Not


mrdjxbdh

Can't > can not > unable to can


kakahan1

I cant do this. I can not do this. (I am unable to do this.) I am unable to can do this???


bokchoi2020

r/IncreasinglyVerbose


throwawaykame

This is my new favorite sub. Thank you kindly my good sir


ScAr_wlvrne

There’s also r/DecreasinglyVerbose


chupathingy99

Thank


ArtThouAngry

#


wingdingsunited

Took me a second


effective_micologist

Took you


Head-Emphasis7560

Took a tick


GamerGav09

Haha this whole sub makes me think of Markiplier’s verbose rants.


Cusslerfan

I am unable to be able to do this.


nkeer

The possible feasibility of implementation approaches zero.


negligentlytortious

Since we’re being hyper technical, it’s actually “cannot” all as one word. As everyone is pointing out, “can not” has a different meaning than “cannot,” which is actually the full word from the contraction can’t.


Adeep187

That last one you hit your head.


PepeDuemilanove

If you can't can, can you can can't?


SpellOpening7852

You can't, because if you can't can, then you can't can a can't in a can, now can you?


RichiZ2

Godzilla had a zeisure reading this and fucking died.


SigmaKnight

Here we are now, entertain us! Cuz we’re stupid, and contagious!


Randomperson291

Henceforth I am unfortunately unable to can


IStanReddit

Cant’nt’nt


13Anomalous

That's still only one word


bolpo33

Cannot is the weird one in that it's one word for some reason


mydearwatson616

Cannot is actually one word but if I'm whooshing here I'll show myself out


Scrolliver_

Was told to avoid contractions* in essays anyways. Forgot about that until right now. Edit: I forgot the difference between conjuction and contraction


404operatorerror

Do you mean contractions?


Scrolliver_

Thank you, yes I did


twowheeledfun

Save contractions for the labour ward.


Tirrojansheep

That's probably the most stupid thing I've encountered so far when writing papers "ohhh don't use contractions, they make your text look informal" like those big head honcho walking suit guys on Wall Street never use contractions. Written language is so far behind spoken language in this aspect it's laughable


Elastichedgehog

Shouldn't use contractions in an essay anyway!


HiDDENk00l

Should not


blah-blah-whatever

My essay is perfect, no further editing needed and **it is** now a perfect 1000 and it rules!


Klarnicck

If you’re righting a proper essay you’re not using contractions.


Billy_Madison69

But what if you're lefting a proper essay?


Klarnicck

Jesus I’m fucking dumb. Didn’t even notice till this comment. Surprised I’m not downvoted to hell.


ramplay

I passed right over the error, i think my brain just took it right since I was reading you saying the 'right' way to ~~wright~~write an essay


Supermario_64

Write*


ramplay

Jesus I don't even know, I got lost in the words lmao


dmderringer

Oh my


Subie780

I read this is George Takei's voice


PM-ME-SOMETHING-GOOD

I c wot u did their


x_fairyprincess_x

You can easily cram one more word in there. Just use an extra adjective somewhere !


wine_coconut

Agreed. Whenever I'm editing content that's way over the word limit, I purge it of adjectives.


StepGrandmother

“My red car looks red today”


cumguzzlingstarfish

Car appears red today


wilburhop

Car red


magusprimal

Ferrari


Phormitago

if gap and no go, racer be not


NutsEverywhere

gapn't racern't


direktor-svemira

If a gap appears, and you do not seize this newly-created opportunity, then I am afraid I must declare you are no longer the controller of a motorsport-use high speed vehicle.


cumguzzlingstarfish

Perfection


NateForRea1

this, this is why i have reddit


raulongo

Master 🅱️Lan.


ThorsRake

Thats some good r/decreasinglyverbose


bokbokboi

My car looks today


rmorrin

Man I wish I could write stuff that's over in count. Im one of those short concise people so essays always got me


asimplerandom

Add “amen” at the end?


xKevinn

What if they already did?


theslideistoohot

"Amen, bitches."


StrangeMedia9

I was going to say add a word like conclusively, finally, or indeed. Clearly, this is the correct answer, though!


VagueMagazine

Fin.


TheBurnedMutt45

Verily


ruckus_440

Indeed


BaldrTheGood

> You can ***very*** easily cram one more word in there. There’s one.


Carlospedra

Just put "end" in the end


STRUGGLING_TO_REMAIN

~Fin~


NotASalamanderBoi

I’m gonna start putting that at the end of all of my essays in the future.


Eranaut

Put a ◻️ to show end of proof


taeguy

Add a word at the end and make the color white or something


Sansa279

Brilliant. Make it a joke like "hellooooooooo"


imperfectcarpet

Great joke!


momma6969

yep, that was a knee puncher


PM_ME_UR_RGB_RIG

I laughed so hard at this


byslexic_ditch567

Bro i died


thetinguy

https://youtu.be/bjmgzLVuWLU


JerodsSuperCool

Dougie? Dougie Jones Mr. Jackpots is that you?


Robertbnyc

Make it a joke like “1000th.”


taeguy

Just don't print on colored paper!


IrrationalDesign

^^That's ^^racist


Centillionare

That’s too many O’s. It’s gonna have a little red squiggly under it and give itself away!


MattDaddyKane

Was gonna say this


kkell806

Ctrl+A reveals all


backsideovercrooks

Why did my wife leave me?


noxhills

You made me laugh more than the usual nose exhale. I congratulate you.


hala_madrid0

Could be converted and submitted as a pdf.


DudleyStone

Pretty certain Ctrl+A in the PDF would still show the white/background-color word. It's not like the converter would refuse to write the word.


iFoxtrot_

If it has to go through some anti plagiarism software it will make all the text black.


BriansRottingCorpse

But this is how my former coworker in IT stores their passwords, it white text in an email sent to themselves with the subject “not passwords”. Yeah… they made it both hard for themselves and easy for attackers.


A_wild_so-and-so

Do they also store all their porn in the Homework folder?


taeguy

Yeah but it's 1000 words so it's still a win


Herp-a-titus

Amen


kaminarichan2

Don't lie, we all did this at some point in our lives.


Routine_Lobster9920

Put your middle name!


drunkbirdy

Don't have one :')


632612

Make one up


Roscoe_P_Trolltrain

Jonathan “1001 Words” Smith


longDongMcDonald

This comment has not gotten the props it should. That shits funny!


mgkbull

Sorry to hear about your funny shits


il_piccolo_nanetto

Put your nickname, like Jonathan "jonny" Smith


GerN7

Jonathan "drunkbirdy" Smith


riconaranjo

Jonathan “Johnathan” Smith


ICqntA1m

Jonathan “Joestar” Smith


A_wild_so-and-so

Jonathan "Jonathan Smith" Smith


_ug_

Jonathan “BigDick” Smith


HercHuntsdirty

Jonathon “knighthawk” Smith would be my choice


[deleted]

[удалено]


zarmril

op making this way more a problem then it is


Shwoomie

You can pick your own! That's pretty cool


elenathebat

in my country we use our father's name or mothers maiden name(if its not already part of your last name)


Paper-Cutter

There’s gotta be a contraction in there somewhere


hadrians-wall

If it's an academic essay it might not. I was always taught not to use em in formal settings.


LEGOfan2

Our teacher said that they’re a part of English and are perfectly fine to use… she said a lot of formal people are starting to come around


IAW1stperson

Maybe in high school but not college


Blayed_DM

I'm doing a master's degree and have never lost marks for a contraction.


bullet4mv92

Only Braxton Hicks ones


Stormwolf1O1

At the very end, write "Hehe."


dudechickendude

Just like Michael Jackson!!


Habadank

That would be Heehee.


Sansa279

I prefer shamowna


halfsushi1

OP please fix this


Reditoree

Just write an extra word and turn its font white.


bitemytail

Is your paper about OCD?


drunkbirdy

It's actually about OTT lol


keep_it_christian

You down with OTT?


GingerGiantz1992

Ya you know me!


dendroidarchitecture

Who's down with OTT?


BigOrkWaaagh

GingerGiantz1992, they just said.


hso0oow

Over-the-top media service?


nerdiotic-pervert

Ontario Testicle Training.


BobRoberts01

Otto The Turtle?


_314

Over the top compression?


synthaxx

Do i look like i know what jaypeg is?!


jeffyjoe12

don’t into do not


Low_Original_1247

Just add “cum” at the end like all redditors


Aksds

Do we really do this? Cum Edit: I guess we do, cum


Ooga-Booga2

He’s just making up stereotypes. Cum


DerajtheOrc

Sorry *cum* I *cum* don't *cum* understand *cum* your *cum* accent


joe28598

I love drinking cum Edit: I don't think I'm doing this right ^^^^cum


ukiddingme2469

Time to insert in a double word typo


twowheeledfun

Time to insert a a double word typo?


drunkbirdy

That's a good idea!


RichiZ2

Add a "the the" unless the reader is paying 100% attention to your essay they they won't notice anything


IrrationalDesign

Especially if you have one of the words before a a line break, and the other one after.


GamerGav09

Ha good one


PmButtPics4ADrawing

> they they ಠ_ಠ


theghostofme

Well, /u/RichiZ2 proved their point because my brain completely skipped over that.


arvhult

Or replace a single word with a like a particle verb


dkgetoffmylawn

You had the the chance and didn't take it.


ImplementNational165

Change I'm to I am


okpm

Really hope an essay already does not include any „I‘m“ to begin with


themixedupstuff

It is sometimes acceptable to use first and second person pronouns in an essay. A strict definition doesn't exist of anything, see the story of the "featherless biped".


ThisManisaGoodBoi

Contractions are the issue here not pronouns


maxx4926

i believe they were saying they hope there’s no contractions in the essay to begin with.


sierraj1923

I was taught to have neither. No first person unless it was a reflection or personal narrative. And definitely no contractions


xX_Bacon_Boi_Xx


My_Stonks


YTQthjs

John Cena


PurchaseKnown

Xhon Xina


the_kid1234

“Therefore,”


jhemsley99

If you find a "the" at the end of a line, add another at the beginning of the next line. The the majority of people would not notice the repeated word. I did it in this comment and you probably didn't notice


Ironappels

Line or sentence? Because it's in the exact center of the text for me


jhemsley99

Line. Your phone is the wrong size for my mind games


Ironappels

Your mind is the wrong size for my phone :p


LoeWwn

The same for me, but i still didn't notice lol


loveofGod12345

It’s in the middle of the text for me and I still didn’t notice it lol.


Errorfull

That's fuckin crazy dude. I literally just did this in my own comment and thought it would be too obvious, but i totally missed your second "the". It works so well its crazy.


Victorino__

Can confirm, I got tricked.


Bartender9719

Word minimum requirements are counter productive; if you can convey an idea in 600 words but are directed to use 1000, it’s a waste of your time and the readers time.


Distinct_Ad_4495

God, have you ever had to wade through like a medical journal paper and it's just several paragraphs restating the same goddamn data and conclusions? Infuriating.


Apprehensive_Risk_77

Not in a medical field, but I edit papers before they're submitted to journals. I see a lot of that too. Especially if the author doesn't really understand what's supposed to be in each section of the paper, so they just repeat everything in every section. My personal pet peeve is when the author spends 1000 to 2000 more words than they needed just because they repeated all the information in their tables and figures in the text.


Weisdog

This post has nothing to do about word requirements. Op is just mad that its not a perfect 1000. However I agree with your comment.


pantzareoptional

I struggled with this in college. I didn't know how to hem and haw and fluff, I wrote what the facts and ideas were and came in under word count every time.


UseOnlyLurk

I used to go and find more sources to add superfluous elaboration. I’m so glad I’m done with college.


h33hee

And word maximum requirements are almost as bad, except they do serve a function. So painful trying to find things to cut out or reword in my college apps.


Forgotten_Lie

If an idea can be comprehensively discussed in 600 words then it isn't a suitable topic for an academic essay.


Zadama

I'm struggling to understand how a 1000 word essay is acceptable for anything at university level. Not once in my undergrad was any essay below 2500 words as a minimum requirement.


BerneseMountainDogs

I find word or page minimums to be useful. If I'm expected to write 200 words of analysis, then I'll pick a topic and approach it very differently than if I'm expected to write 2000 words of analysis. Besides that, at least at an undergraduate level, you aren't just trying to "convey an idea." You're almost always involved in argument. A longer word count doesn't mean you should just write fluff, it means you should refine your argument. You should find assumptions that you left undefended and defend them. You should consider more potential objections and respond to them. You should expound on the implications of your position and how is related to similar questions. You should expand your scope and see if you can make your argument apply to more cases. Basically, word counts signal to students how good the argument is supposed to be. The longer the paper, the more comprehensive the argument should be. In my experience, if you submit a 2000 word paper that could have "conveyed the idea" in 600, you're not going to get a very good grade.


dunnowhyalltaken

Add an adjective


Ok_Surprise2489

It's a perfect 999. Good enough.


ChuChuChewbaka

Add Screw Flanders.


ernee_gaming

It's perfect 999


AddisonNM

Fin


poweredbyhopealone

Just change the text colour to white and write “cunt”


Barkeri

One thing you learn after many years of writing is that no piece of writing is perfect my friend.


elMurpherino

Put the word “Cheese” in white print at the end.


Wonderful_Minute31

The number of people using contractions in formal writing is strange to me.


Square-Pipe7679

Put “**BEHOLD**” in all caps and massive bold font, followed by your actual essay


GingerGiantz1992

Expand a contraction


Animallover4321

A properly written essay shouldn’t have any contractions. It’s fine for internet comments but a huge no no for any formal written document.


KevinCMD

True, but for most lower level english/writing classes it's fine, which i'm assuming OP is in. I used them in essays for both writing classes i was required to take for my gen-eds, professor never said anything.


Silver_Hammr

Add your middle name


taspleb

A lot of people with dumb scams to get a secret extra word, but if you're really capable of writing a "perfect" essay then you probably have the skills to slightly reword one sentence to add an extra word without losing anything at all from the overall piece.


WTFrenchToast1

Write your name at the top


speaker4the-dead

Go back in and sneak in 4 “meows” into the paper, and at the very end simple end it with one final “meow”.


c_y_y_

Its perfect if the word limit is below 1000


Strugg13s

Add one word using white font!


Sir_Tea_Of_Bags

Drop down a fancy-ass ~END~ in the center column of the document.


ChosenMate

just add a word or remove an abbreviation


Arcadian_

one extra word at the end, but color it white.