T O P

Amen

Amen

' + '
' + '
' + '
' + '
' + '
' + '
' + '
' + '

unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Guy saves Jesus!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


BirdManOfAzkaban

Did... did he think that was the real Jesus?


PA-01

That's actually Judas. He regretted betraying Jesus and wanted to save his life in the end.


BirdManOfAzkaban

Today, we spell 'redemption': J-U-D-A-S


Jitterjumper13

That escalated quickly, I mean that really got outta hand. Longinus killed a guy.


Dan-tastico

I've been meaning to talk to him about that. He should probably find himself a safe house or relative close by. Lay low for a while because he's probably wanted for murder


velowalker

I killed someone with a Trident.


Dan-tastico

I saw that, velowalker killed a guy.


Specific-Estate

Yah you might wanna lay low for awhile


Waywardishroi

I STABBED A MAN IN THE HEART!


notyourancilla

Judas, where’d you get a hand grenade?


[deleted]

[удалено]


WeirdExponent

Was that Roman warrior name, "Biggus Dickus?" LOL!


NoDot6253

Stop your mockery! Wait until Biggus Dickus hears about this!


pie_monster

He has a wife you know...


NoDot6253

Do you wanna know what her name is?


Intelligent-Context5

She's called...


Barbarosa61

Incontinentia Buttocks…


nanakarobiyaoki

Wewease wodewick! Minimus Cranius is the guy in the blue shirt


goldenslumberbug

Longinus? Is that Biggus Dickus’ brother?


CharlieDmouse

No it is Incontinentia’s sister.


Blue-is-bad

Did you threw him a spear?


Top_Ad_6890

With a tridens!


vinnievintage2020

The trident of Longinus


Lastlaughx4

Trident Gum stuck in my butt cheeks


The_Inquisition-

Listen here buddy. He had it coming, ok?


Lienisaur

Red dead Judas 2?


Gsteel11

The new film by Quinton Tarantino puts a spin on an old story! Judas is back and he's making up for his past mistakes!


MyBlackTights

RedDeadJudas doesn't have the same ring to it.


DualitySquared

According to the Gnostic Book of Judas, Judas only did as Christ instructed.


ShroomanEvolution

"He told me to" Classic


DefrockedWizard1

Yep, I found the Gospel of Judas more moving than the others. Very condensed version Jesus said, "This is the way people work. I need a villain for the story to take seed and go on. Peter will you be the villain?" No way x 3 Judas sheepishly says, "If you are certain it needs to be that way."


MrHockster

Here's what could have happened if he didn't https://youtu.be/C9_1RFAcjMU


TistedLogic

I was only following orders.


schleem77

boy does he regret styling his beard like Jesus


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hannibal0BC812

what a plot twist lol


Seeeab

Time traveler: *wait a second... frick*


hylarchiccotyttia5

I guess that guy who try to save jesus was peter in modern world. Lol


haversack77

Telling fact from fiction is not a trait associated with the heavily religious.


Countjunkie

lol


ThePapaXxl

![gif](giphy|BNkHCHnAsZwRi)


nickmaran

![gif](giphy|Tv2btKgK06tPy)


hanguldistemperment1

​ ![gif](giphy|SBOAoIan6i1mU)


Eldorath1371

![gif](giphy|xDpTVxDKV6eEU)


sharbinbarbin

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.odditycentral.com/news/man-attacks-actor-playing-roman-soldier-in-passion-of-the-christ-play-to-save-jesus.html/amp


HoodieGalore

NON-AMP LINK: http://www.odditycentral.com/news/man-attacks-actor-playing-roman-soldier-in-passion-of-the-christ-play-to-save-jesus.html


SookHe

Roman soldier's head was saved from being smashed in by his prop helmet. That is one hell of a high quality prop.


melance

Which had just been provided by a local business man.


e9967780

Figures “As for the attacker, he was taken into custody by local police. His brother later said that he suffers from a mental illness and had suffered a psychotic episode, but the Daily Mail adds that he has a history of drug abuse and is known to police.”


DefrockedWizard1

Probably was schtuppin the guy's wife


BirdManOfAzkaban

Naughty Judas. That's easily the worst thing he ever did.


el-conquistador240

As real as the one they worship


jesp676a

Jesus as a historical figure did exist tho, bar the miracles etc. There's plenty of evidence to support it


el-conquistador240

There was a lot of history being documented at that time yet there was nothing contemporaneous written about him. The earliest records are around 100 years later, which given the era where almost nobody could read or write was like 1000 years.


dott2112420

Jesus the biggest myth still going.


el-conquistador240

All religion


FlinnyWinny

He must have been on some good shit that night


MasterOfDizaster

Saving the savior


2punornot2pun

He wanted to keep his sins. Duh.


Alternative-Layer919

What are you taking about ? It’s is the real Jesus he just saved us all , with that beat down! And don’t you hear the music!! It’s so real .


shadowoperative

Did...did he think jesus was real?


Bother-Capital

That's why you don't get high before religious reenactments.


Stoic_Stranger

Every time this gets reposted people say without links that the man was autistic or something (I don't know the exact diagnosis and I know autism is a spectrum).


MauiKehaulani

So the helmet-wielding audience member found out that soldier boy there was boinking his wife. He’d been drinking and thought that he could get to his romantic rival during the play. Then he figured he could use his inebriation along with his personal and deeply-held religious beliefs to justify his actions when the cops questioned him but it didn’t go according to plan because I just made all of this up. Edit: I apologize to those upset by my comment-I was just having a little fun. The real story has been posted by u/SimpleRun8869


dagremlin

I’ll take it! Edit: I prefer the made up story vs. the story where this [guy](https://i.imgur.com/ih533tu.jpg) just hadda mollywhop some actor for the love of christ.


KeengSlayerr

In the butt?


Good_Round

In the face?


The_Bent_One

Why not both?


TitleOfUrSxtape-Bot

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Kohel13

Average bot


ad_396

Average reddit bot*


Thorkell23

What what?


SexxyGothBabe

I'm glad somebody took it there! I almost forgot about that


lLorel

I said what what


ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN

A quick Google suggests it was a mixture of mental health issues and drug abuse. This happened in Brazil back in 2018.


Gorrodish

You saying Jesus was stoned ?


ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy.


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|uPuixT1sgz4QM)


Umedyn

All he said was that halibut was good enough for Jehova.


llliiiiiiiilll

BLASPHEMY! HE SAID IT AGAIN!


cyberianhusky2015

Earlier Jesus was stoned. He just looks hung over now.


Fluffiddy

Of course it is Brazil


negative-nancie

nobody shot or stabbed, was not brazil


SimpleRun8869

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/5946493/easter-jesus-crucified-passion-of-the-christ-brazil-theatre/ My dood just wanted to save Jesus.


SexxyGothBabe

I'd have loved to have seen this in real life Jesus just up there chillin still...


GAZUAG

> Meanwhile the actor playing Jesus remained calm and in character amid the chaos.


Pizza_Ninja

He has a passion for his work.


A-Dawg11

Funny that if he really understood the point of the crucifixion of Jesus, he would let it happen as it was part of God's plan.


BirdManOfAzkaban

Better story than the one in the Bible. B+


PoundTheMeatPuppet32

What a wonderful back story that would be though if it were true.


Exotic-Law-6021

Seems legit. I'll allow it


Gargantix

You had me in the first half ngl.


Misterstustavo

Sounds like a crime of passion.


miesanonsiesanot

I like this way more than whatever the real thing was. ![gif](giphy|FdEtkemRg6vo4)


-EntropyIncarnate-

I'm constantly reminded by Reddit of how gullible I am.


mhagin

Brilliant deduction, even if untrue :)


CandL2023

I love people like you, makes the comment section fun


OGodIDontKnow

I like this story better, at least there is a reason other than Jeebus.


ThyBoogeyman31st

That was lovely, thank you.


AsexualSalami

What in the biblical fuck


Cringelord10923

I can confirm this indeed happened in Holy Bible 2: Tokyo Drift


Dry_Presentation_197

I wonder if they'll cast Dwayne Johnson as the stone that's over the cave Jesus is buried in...


itsjustpaper

Only thing that would have made it better is if the lights went out and the undertaker appeared


Fapper_Keeper

Tokyo Drift was Holy Bible 3 The second one was called 2Holy 2Bible


TheAlienGuy75

No, such things didn't happen


iaijutsu08

The old testament was full of debauchery with lecherous old men lecturing everyone else on morality. Not much has changed in 3000 years.


OneBaldingWookiee

The power of Christ compelled him


Ninjacobra5

Jesus: "If someone strikes you on the cheek, turn to him the other cheek." Modern Christians: "Yo, if I'd been there I woulda fucked those Romans UP, yo!"


DiscipleDavid

Christians during Jesus' arrest... "Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it and struck the high priest’s servant, cutting off his right ear. (The servant’s name was Malchus.) Jesus commanded Peter, “Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me" https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malchus


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Malchus](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malchus)** >Malchus () was the servant of the Jewish High Priest Caiaphas who participated in the arrest of Jesus as written in the four gospels. According to the Bible, one of the disciples, Simon Peter, being armed with a sword, cut off the servant's ear in an attempt to prevent the arrest of Jesus. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


ScrollNTrollHere

History is written by the winners. This guy clearly won. New Testament coming soon.


Destroyeroyer2

!remindme 1y


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MataJotos420

Bible 2 ?


CapitanM

Top be fair, both testaments are old now


Jaquantity

The Newest Testament


HentaiObserver

The Bible 2, electric boogaloo


WealthBetWebb

I just want a pinch of context


ajloves2code

It’s your classic failed time-travel/historical reenactment scenario


nio_nl

Those never get old.


hstheay

So I didn’t kill baby Hitler…….?


SirArthurDime

No you killed the baby of the guy who would later kill Hitler. Thanks asshole.


reddit_user334489

I think killing baby anyone is sad. Maybe take baby Hitler and teach him values and try to be a better role model than his dad was.


SlimDood

This happened in 2018 at Nova Hartz, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil, during the enactment of Passion of the Christ. According to witnesses, the helmet-wielding man appeared mentally confused and said he would not let Jesus die. Ofc this /r/ItHadToBeBrazil Source: https://g1.globo.com/rs/rio-grande-do-sul/noticia/homem-invade-encenacao-da-paixao-de-cristo-e-agride-soldado-romano-com-capacete-em-nova-hartz-no-rs.ghtml


drinoaki

he's a bit confused but he's got the spirit


CammyMM

Damn, but that's a really long story. In the beginning was the Word...


wakandarightnow

And the Word was with God, and the Word was God


Pigeononabranch

https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org


Old-Cow9089

See, I’d definitely not be an atheist if this happened and was written in the bible “Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and also some dude had a pan and was hitting everyone, should’ve been there”


PancakeZombie

Well, there is the part where Jesus goes on a rampage with a whip at a flea market or some shit.


faithfoliage

It was in a temple


Willfishforfree

Kinky


BaronWombat

Yeah, he drove out the people making money off religion because it was sacrilegious. Just another key message from Jesus that “prosperity preachers” pretend doesn’t exist.


PengieP111

My favorite thing He did, btw.


Kracka_Jak

![gif](giphy|kd9h44W2CpZBLH7QpA)


111111111122339

Blessed art thou…. Motherfucker!!!


vonpoopenshtein

Peace be with you, little bitch!!!


TheRealJarTroll

Amen, fuckface!!!


ElonMuskIsAWeeb

May lord have mercy.... Because I won't!!!!


Dogtor-Watson

It's the Judean people's front, suicide squad!


Sinemetu9

I think you mean The People’s Front of Judaea


a-golf-hither

i think its judeas’s front of the people


madcowsaff

[email protected]@k off, People’s Judean Front!? We’re the People’s Front of Judaea!


shiner_bock

What about the Popular Front?


Muffinshire

He’s over there.


Willfishforfree

Splittaaa!!!!!


Ryuluck

Splitter


Ast3r10n

r/ExpectedMontyPython


the_nooble

r/hadtobebrazil didn't it


lrd_rs

"É de verdade?"


BinxGamer

pq eu não to surpreso?


beeradgeezy

Now that's what I call Passion!


ZedFodder

What's the music, I've been trying to find it for months!


Aron0415

It's Carmina Burana by Carl Orff. It was used in the movie Excalibur, but it didn't originate from that movie's soundtrack despite what the bot seems to imply.


ZedFodder

Thanks.


auddbot

I got matches with these songs: • [**Kids** by Victor Perez](https://lis.tn/zMyKlb) (02:20; matched: `100%`) Album: `Laba`. Released on `2018-04-10` by `Corporation Video US`. • [**Carmina Burana "O Fortuna" (From "Excalibur")** by The City of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra](https://lis.tn/EBXVu) (01:52; matched: `100%`) Album: `Ciné Symphonic`. Released on `2012-09-17` by `MERLIN - Silva France`. *I am a bot and this action was performed automatically* | [GitHub](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot) [^(new issue)](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot/issues/new) | [Donate](https://www.reddit.com/r/AudD/comments/nua48w/please_consider_donating_and_making_the_bot_happy/) ^(Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot)


pauldeanbumgarner

So, just what in Christ’s name …. [ Sorry, I couldn’t help it. ]


Wolfanov

They are spoken portuguease, this video was recorded in Brazil, here some idiots doesn't know to separate reality and fiction, this imbecile did this and the hole show was cancelled


Layzusss

I believe everywhere there are people like this.


Wolfanov

Dude, you're absolutely right, but in Brazil those kind of people are in the government right now :/


YanCoffee

Is there some where with more of this story? Because this is my new favorite video.


Wolfanov

Yes of course, it was recorded in 2018 in a city called nova hertz in the state of Rio Grande do Sul, the man who beat the actor was a evangelical man accused to have mental problems, nobody was arrested and when the police arrived, all the people involved in the fight just have gone away hahahahaha


YanCoffee

Well, at least it had a happy ending. Hopefully Judas didn't have too much of a headache.


Wolfanov

The man beat the actor saying "STOP KILLING JESUS DEMON!!"


YanCoffee

Omg ty for that translation, bwha


PoundTheMeatPuppet32

Wow man, some people are just so fucked


JoshV96

That’s how it should have went down


pglggrg

The real saviour


Muzikj_710

“He said he could handle a 10 strip”


Wolfhaseyes

In the name of Jesus


burnthefuckingspider

r/religiousfruitcake ?


AlexMil0

*I’ll save you Jesus!*


tangoindia1

u/savevideobot


savevideobot

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Shaadr

Good work folks, we saved Jesus.


neo-kal-el-

Now that’s a performance.Exquisite if I might say!


unlivedSoup69

As Benny once said “What in the goddamn”


fernandoteruo

Brazil of course. Man was arrested later. He really thought that was Jesus.


Infamous_H1tman

Fucking you up and wrecking your shit in the name of Jesus!!


NapaGhost

Where did he find pot???


dusttillnoon

Soo good ... Just sooo good .


yeshinkurt

He is trying to save Jesus Jesus


brkvc-

u/savevideo


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badFishTu

I love *Oh Fortuna* it adds the right amount of drama to amy chaotic scene. The googly eyed helmet lady trying out bike that magpie is my favorite.


obscure_myth

Whats the background music?


[deleted]

O fortuna


_paaronormal

In Brazil, it’s “amém”


NoPantsDeLeon

One man fought against the Roman Empire to save Jesus from the cross!


MissingApache

You... do realize he was SUPPOSED to die, right? You know, die for our sins and all that?


I_Dont_Have_Corona

Mental health issues and drugs will make some dudes do crazy shit like this


ShrimpDealer69

What’s so crazy about trying to save Jesus


MutedLayer4564

Which episode of Doctor Who is this?


Select-Chemist-2828

#savejesus


Slight-Salamander599

If only Peter had the balls this guy does


Orkaad

It would have been hilarious if Jesus had joined the fight.


tylrbrock

Yet a again, people and religion don’t mix.